Can I Just Say……
I’m generally a rule follower. Always have been. My youngest sister and I were complete opposites as kids. She was a rule breaker. She made me nervous. Me? I hold on to the railing on an escalator, count my items in the 20 or less checkout line and I put my cart back in the parking lot. When I have broken rules, I feel terrible…and I usually get caught. Once when we were in Hawaii with friends, I decided I would drag a hotel pool lounge chair through the sand so I could sit on the beach. I was pretty sure it wasn’t allowed (you pay for EVERYTHING there), put I put my head down and even acted like I didn’t hear the woman calling, “Ma’am, Ma’am, you can’t take that on the beach.” Even now, 10 years later, I cringe thinking of it. Rules make me feel safe (as if everyone else is following the rules, right Renee!).
Let’s take the English language. We all basically followed the rules…until 2022. Some will undoubtedly think I am uptight and a bit draconian, but alas, my rule following nature is quite agitated!
Let me paint a little picture for you. I really enjoy listening to Podcasts, but I find it difficult to keep my mouth shut. I would imagine if someone walked in my kitchen on any given day, as I listen with my earbuds in, they would think I’m having a conversation with someone. Indeed, I am speaking to the person who is broadcasting (is that even what is done with a Podcast? Is it broadcasted? Or do we just say it’s posted? I don’t know). At any rate, I am talking out loud to someone who cannot hear me or respond. Hmmm, that doesn’t sound very healthy.
Want to know what I am saying out loud to no one?
Here’s a little sample:
It’s SHE not her!
It’s He and I stayed home, not me and HIM!
It’s she and her friend went out, not her and her friend went out!
I used to think this was just people under 40 or even 35, but I’m hearing my contemporaries do the same!
Do this: Break down the sentence.
Let’s use Her and her friend went out.
Would you say, “Her went out?”
No! you would say, She went out.”
Yes! You would say, “Her friend went out.”
Just put the two together.
She and her friend went out.
Just one more issue. I’ll keep this short.
The pronoun “I” is never possessive.
I have seen “I’s” in writing. Don’t do that.
Bear with me, I want to share one more thing in the area of manners. Wait, let me say this first. I may have mentioned that when my kids were in grade school, I was hired as a lunchroom lady for 1 year (the only year I didn’t practice Nursing when they were little). I developed a program to teach the kids (k-8) table manners. Every week, Monday-Thursday, I taught them a table manner. On Friday, I picked someone who thought they could recite all 4. If so, he/she got a HUGE candy bar. Worked like a charm! I still run into thirty-somethings who tell me they remember all the manners. It was just my small contribution to civilized society, and I can only hope they’re teaching their own children.
What kinds of things did I teach them?
When you sit down at a table, the first thing you do is put your napkin in your lap.
When you can’t reach an item on the table, say to the person next to you, “Please pass the _____.”
When you are done eating in a restaurant, put your knife and fork together on the right side of your plate. This signals to the wait staff that you are done eating.
Ok, here’s my one more thing.... When someone says, “Thank you,” the response is “You’re welcome.”
Not….
“No problem” (which implies there could be/ you could be a problem)
Not…
“Sure!” (What does that even mean??)
Not…
“Any time” (Again, how does that fit?)
Are you really free any time to provide the item or service again? Any time? Like… midnight?
Granted, I also correct my punctuation in my texts, so do with this what you will. At least I got if off my chest! Thanks for letting me vent. And to be clear, I didn't write this in all UPPER CASE, so I wasn't yelling at you. You are, after all, an adult.
So, what are you keeping all bottled up inside of you?
What are you holding on to?
What old emotional wound are you keeping deep inside?
Is there someone you need to confront? That’s a hard thing to do.
Here’s my recommendation:
When you need to confront or even correct someone, start with a praise of some sort, especially with your kids. Maybe something like this:
“You know Bobby, I really appreciate how you play with your sister so nicely, but I notice you leave quite a mess when you’re done. How about you help her pick up the toys when you’re finished playing.”
I used Bobby as my subject in this sweet little exchange because in all the parenting classes I have taught through the years, when the author or creator is demonstrating a wild or misbehaving child, 9 times out of 10, his name is Bobby. My son’s name is Bobby, so here’s to you kid! (he’s 29 and a dad…but still “kid,” to me.)
I feel so strongly about all of this that I’m thinking of starting my own Podcast called: I COULD BE YOUR MOM- where I share with younger women some of the age old, never to be forgotten nuances of being a mom: teaching your kids, leaving a legacy and keeping some of the “old culture” alive. However, it sounds a bit overwhelming, so probably won’t happen. But hey, if you’re good at this sort of thing and want to teach me the ropes, I’m all ears!
If not, I have a lot of young moms in my practice (I don’t only see middle-aged women) whom I am able to pour into. So most likely, I’ll just leave it at that!
Maybe you have some deep issues that need attention. Perhaps you have been hurt or have experienced trauma. Venting to a therapist may help. I worked with some great therapists through the years. And I even went to a therapist for a while. If you’re in my area (Central IL), email me and I’ll recommend one.
My experience as a Coach can be helpful, too. I like to say there’s a reason we have 2 ears and 1 mouth. I also have broad shoulders. I hear what you’re saying and what you’re not saying. If you want to scratch the surface or go a bit deeper into weight loss, I’m your gal! There’s always way more to it than what we’re putting in our mouths.
Another reader shared a “fence” around her health!
Helen from Illinois says, One new fence I've put up in the last ten years is 8-9 hours of sleep. I detested sleeping for about ten years, from ~12 years old to 22 years old. To me it was a waste of time that could be used doing something really fun. I never could understand how my sister, with whom I shared a room, spent so much time in bed. Today I feel better and am healthier and more productive now that I've made good, prolonged sleep a priority. (I agree Helen! Since I’ve made sleep a priority, I feel better too! I left a function in the evening long before everyone else, even saying to the group, “Sleep is a high priority….gotta go!” It was 8:30 pm.)
I’m looking forward to seeing all of you who signed up for the Intermittent Fasting Workshop For Middle Aged Women in January. You’re going to LOVE IT (“It” being the workshop AND intermittent fasting, or IF, as we say).
January 17, 18, 19
10:30 am, 2 pm or 6 pm (CT)- you pick your time!
For those of you who didn’t sign up, I’m extending the $20 discount thru December 25….an early Christmas gift. Let the women in your life know! Just $99 for 3 full hours with me and other women who struggle with weight loss ($79 with the discount)!
IF is a powerhouse:
Lose weight and still eat the foods you love
Your body literally reshapes as you lose inches
Over time, you truly are NOT hungry
Prevent cancer
Prevent chronic illness/disease
Build muscle
Food no longer has power over you
In a word: FREEDOM
Reserve your spot! The discount for email subscribers can be extended to those you refer!
Just have them mention they heard about it through my newsletter.
Email me to sign up: renee@yourfoodfight.com
Put "Fasting" in the subject line.
I can't wait to hear about the participants' weight loss....cuz it's gonna happen! (how about that for slaughtering the English language! Ha!)
Merry Christmas, my dear reader!
All of our kids and my darling granddaughter are descending on our home Christmas weekend.
Granddaughter? Now there’s one sweet reason I may break some rules!
Let’s do this again in January.
In the meantime, take good care of you!
Coach Renee
I help middle-aged women lose weight and keep it off!
*Feel free to forward this email!
Renee Jocson
Woman's Health Coach
Your Food Fight, LLC
yourfoodfight.com
renee@yourfoodfight.com